Only If God Says So!
I knew parts of Karen Black Mercer’s story. After all, she had sat in my living room in the early 2000s in our women’s group of three, and we had lifted each other up in prayer through all our challenges. We talked about our favorite ways to pray: one liked to sit in her rocking chair, one wanted to be outside strolling through nature, and one needed to
speak out loud to keep thoughts flowing. We laughed as I said, “Wow, we have a prayer rocker, a walker, and a talker!” Most of you can guess which one I was! We always left these meetings feeling more supported, loved, and covered.
After all these years and the distance separating us, Karen and I reconnected through social media because I am finally showing up in it with my author pursuits. She related to me as a pre-published author, as she had recently been through the whole process with her Memoir entitled “Only If God Says So!” I bought it (www.karenblackmercer.com) and, less than halfway through, found myself unable to put it down. I rode the wave through to the end, landing on the shores of its powerful ending exhortations. I felt weighted with something big, a bit wrung out, yet hopeful, empowered, and inspired. And maybe even willing to take a risk and write about a fiercely polarizing issue.
Her story is clear to me now, all missing pieces in place, with my questions answered about her front-lines historical testimony of her experience on the battlefield of pro-life vs. abortion/women’s rights. I saw bad behavior on both sides, and I know this issue still stirs up epic, passionate beliefs on both sides that are conflicting and seem irreconcilable, even like a match to gasoline.
Why read something like this? Why bring all this up? Someone dear to me once encouraged me to be willing to hear about beliefs outside of my own that don’t “fit in my box” and encouraged me to calmly respond with space on my table for others’ ideas and passions. I’ve taken that deeply to heart. I believe we have lost the art of debate and deep discussion, of truly listening with a heart of respect to another human being and them listening to us. What is the hope? Even if we don’t walk away with a full resolution, what if there is a new understanding of each other so we are closer to unity than before?
I’m not misleading anyone here. Her position is pro-life, and Karen is now known as the Billy Graham of sidewalk counseling at abortion clinics and the James Dobson (Founder of Focus on the Family ministry) of the Pro-Life Cause. Still, even if you land on the side of women’s reproductive freedom and the power to choose, I dare to hope you will find her work to be pro-women and her support women-focused, and thus refreshing, especially as one willing to put everything on the line to fight for them.
The book “Go-Giver Influencer” offers a fifth principle: Let go of having to be right. As long as your premise is that your position is entirely right and the other person’s is completely wrong, you cannot arrive at a genuinely satisfying solution. One side cries, “What about the life of the baby?” The other side cries, “What about the pregnant woman's rights and needs?” What if this book offers a way to have the best for both? Both sides have guilt and wrongdoing on their hands in this battle. What if we can find a way to redeem it to the best truth for all?
If you are someone who lands on a woman's right to choose, there’s a possibility you will feel some anger, skepticism, or disbelief about something you read here. For the sake of this cause, I’m just asking you to take a deep breath and hang in there to the end. It’s worth it. You will see a robust, different approach and a way of transformation and healing in this issue that has resulted in women being deeply loved, fought for, healed, provided for, and protected at a crisis time in their lives, which they chose for themselves once they learned new things and had resources for their choice. Just maybe, you’ll be willing to have an honest discussion with someone on the other side.
The message is also for those who land on the side of pro-life. This has been a half-century-old battleground, and many are weary or unsure of how to navigate it through life’s responsibilities. There could be a new perspective, idea, or way to pray for you. If you are currently working in this arena, I believe you will also learn from this historical, valid testimony from the front lines of this battle to find new energy or methods to persevere in this cause. You could also learn from the book's title, “Only If God Says So,” inspired by Karen’s most often repeated courageous response in the face of fierce threats and opposition, transformed from a petite, timid, rule-following, painfully shy young woman. And just maybe, you’ll be willing to have an honest discussion with someone on the other side.
As the saying goes, those unwilling to study history are bound to repeat its mistakes. One of our greatest Presidents, Lincoln, was willing to take our nation through its most polarizing, explosive issue, even through a war battling for our nation’s unity and new human rights freedoms. This is another one which I believe must be resolved. There is no time or room for Switzerland-like neutrality or an ostrich-head-in-the-sand stance about this issue of the rights of women, the right to life, when it begins, how and when it ends, how and when it applies to all United States Citizens, how it is inherently connected to women and men, and who has endowed us with these rights for which we are fighting. Let’s pause and learn from the past, from someone with a ton of skin in the game.